Chapter One – Bitter Hearts
I didn't think I would hear from John again. I went to bed feeling a mixture of sadness, relief and self pity. I knew it was ridiculous and yet I couldn't help sulking all the same.
So I was surprised when the very next evening, the doorbell rang. I assumed it was one of Aunt Jessica's author friends. Kayleigh had fallen asleep in her playpen and Jessica was typing on her computer in the living room. I had begun to fix dinner and so was closest to the door.
I felt a sudden rush of adrenaline when I opened it and saw John standing there. He looked slightly uncomfortable and I almost felt sorry for him.
“Come in,” I said, opening the door wider. As he stepped inside, I informed him. “I was just starting supper. Would you like to stay—I'm sure Jessica won't mind.”
“Yes—no.” John lowered his voice. “I need to talk to you.”
“Right now?”
“As soon as possible.”
I ran my hands under the water at the kitchen sink. “Just a minute.”
I went into the other room and told my Aunt that I would be just a minute. I then led the way to the front porch, making a detour to avoid the living room where Kayleigh was sleeping. John didn't know about her and I didn't want him finding out just yet.
The wind from the ocean rushed us like an eager puppy, swirling around the deck before blowing over the roof of the house. I could sense John was agitated and did not offer him a seat. Instead I braced myself against the railing and waited for him to speak.
“Why didn't you call?” John suddenly asked. He turned and the raw pain in his eyes surprised me.
“When? Today?” I asked, frowning in confusion.
“Oh you know perfectly well what I'm talking about,” he practically spat.
I just shook my head, refusing to show how rattled his bitterness made me.
John made a visible attempt to control his temper. “I asked Lorie to tell you to call me,” he said. “After you left. You never did.”
“She never said that,” I said slowly. “I haven't heard from Lorie since I left Windem.”
“She showed me the email she sent you,” John said, his voice tight. “I don't know how many times I tried contacting you.”
“What was the email address?” I asked, stumped.
He named it and I shook my head. “That is not my email,” I said firmly. “I do not and never have had that address.” I added, “Lorie and I never got along, you know that. She probably created that account herself.”
John studied me and I could tell he was determining whether or not to believe me.
Over the whine of the wind, I heard a small cry and knew Kayleigh had awoken. John heard it as well, for he glanced toward the door and looked back at me dubiously.
I sighed. “I wish I'd known about those emails.” I said heavily. “I'm sorry.”
I raised my chin. “I can see you're wondering, so I'll just say it. I was married, John. I have a daughter named Kayleigh and yes—she's inside.” I hesitated. “Would you like to meet her?”
John stared at me long and hard. “No thank you.” He finally said, with borderline politeness. “I think I've heard about all I can handle for one day.”
He moved past me and I suddenly felt as wounded as the day I'd left Windem, over three years ago.
I turned suddenly. “John? I'm sorry...”
John bit his lip before replying gruffly. “Sorry don't cut it.”
I WATCHED HIM climb into the driver's side of the black Hummer and rev the engine. His tires spit gravel as he backed up and roared down the driveway.
“Was that who I think it was?” Jessica asked curiously, entering the kitchen and peering out the window as John's rear lights disappeared into the grove of pines.
I bit my lip. “Probably.”
Jessica studied my face. “I'm sorry honey—I know you were hoping to make up with him.”
I shoved my hands deep into my pockets. “You knew that, huh?”
“My dear, it's been obvious since the day you got back here,” Jessica smiled gently at me.
I winced. “Wow.”
“It'll all work out for the good in the end. He'll be back—you'll see.”
“He has no reason to be so angry with me.”
“Oh, I think he does.”
I turned to Jessica in surprise. She added, “You broke his heart.”
“Surely you don't think I meant—”
“Oh, no.” She interjected. “I know you didn't mean to.”
“You know,”I said thoughtfully, “I don't think mens' hearts can break.”
“Oh, you might be surprised.”
“Or more likely not. I mean, just look at my ex-husband. And John. When something goes wrong they just become bitter—blaming everyone else for their problems.”
“Don't we all?”
I knew Jessica meant me. I shrugged and went back to the counter, where the ingredients of the lasagna I'd started were still spread out.
“He probably just needed to blow off some steam,” I said, hoping Jessica would dismiss the matter.
“You know what I think?” she asked me thoughtfully.
I took a mug from the cupboard and filled it with water before sticking it in the microwave.
“No...what do you think?”
“I think he's as guilty as you are.”
I raised my eyebrows. “What does that mean?”
Jessica smiled mysteriously. “I think you know.”
